So, I watched My Bloody Valentine last night on Sky HD, I was flicking through, and noted that Jensen Ackles of Supernatural fame stars, which piqued my interest.

It's uncanny how his character in Supernatural, Dean Winchester is almost a identical twin to myself, not visually of course.. I am at least 10% more handsome, whaddup?! *self five*

Ask the Dude on this if you don't believe me, he'll tell you how amazing the likeness is!

Back to the point! So, the synopsis on Sky said something along the lines of this(Spoiler Alert!):

• "Jensen Ackles develops a miner problem... blah, blah..."

Very good miner, minor, I get it. What I DON’T get is why they are telling me that Jensen (Dean, Me.) develops the problem! A ‘who-dunnit’ film, whereby you are told in the 3 line synopsis who-dunnit. JOKE!

Anyway, I watched the film… and turns out Jensen did it, in the who-dunnit - shock! As far as the film went, it was pretty awful, making me laugh more than jump, flinch, or the like. Unfortunately for Jensen, who it seems can act only managed to pull off Dean (me) larking about in a horror film. I guess it was always going to be hard to dodge that one. If it’s any consolation there is some full frontal nudity, as well as a mutilated dwarf! Jamie King is the leading lady, who is also hot.

To summarize, full frontal nudity, mutilated dwarves, Jamie King and Jensen (me) Ackles… with a poor plot, no real fear, but some good gore.

I rate this film 9 out of 10.

You may question this 9 out of 10, let me explain… there are some bonus point available to light hearted films. Full frontal nudity is worth 5, mutilated dwarves are worth 3 and Jensen (me) Ackles is worth 2 points. I docked one for the film being so completely shocking, and being pissed at Sky for the Synopsis F*&K up.

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